Killer Whale Miniguns

Since the dawn of time, one species of creature has reigned over all others in terms of sheer brutal bad assery; THE KILLER WHALE. They are vicious, unforgiving machines hellbent on destruction, and sexual gratification. You would do well to avoid them, and be wise to fear them...hide your daughters.

WARNING: Referring to a Killer Whale as an Orca is a good way to get slaughtered in barbaric fashion.

It is a well know fact that:

Killer Whales don't need mini-guns.

Killer Whales can read your mind.

Killer Whales cry acid blood.

Killer Whales killed the dinosaurs.

Killer Whales are the only known creature that Mr.T fears.

Killer Whales can mate with human women.

Killer Whales can smoke, and not develop cancer.

Killer Whales are cooler than postage stamps.

Killer Whales are born capable of speaking any language.

Killer Whales can travel through space, and subsequently time.

Killer Whales can wield a Katana.

Killer Whales can play the guitar in a manner that can kill you.

Killer Whales are constantly drunk.

Killer Whales once successfully laid siege to Heaven.

Killer Whales emit radiation waves of pure awesome.

Killer Whales love to eat Panda Bears.

Killer Whales cannot be poisoned.

Killer Whales are excellent at algebra.

Killer Whales allowed pirates to exist simply because they liked the way they talked.

Killer Whales rape sharks for fun.

Killer Whales have no sense of humor.

Killer Whales hoard silver.

Killer Whales can shatter glass simply by looking at it.

Killer Whales could reverse global warming, if they wanted to.

Killer Whales break the sound barrier when they have sex.

Killer Whales don't like you. At all.

Killer Whales are in a constant state of orgasm.

Killer Whales never lose at pool, darts, poker, or American made video games.

Killer Whales do not wear pink. Ever.

Killer Whales actually came up with the character of Wolverine.

Killer Whales were banned from competing in Ninja Warrior, because they never failed.

Killer Whales charge the United States Navy an annual toll to be allowed to sail in their waters.

Killer Whales are the only reason aliens have yet to invade our planet. They live in fear of Killer Whales....

Killer Whales can ride a bike with no handle bars.

Killer Whales can digest steel.

Killer Whales are incapable of pity.

Killer Whales invented Democracy.

Alexander the Great rode a Killer Whale into every battle. That is why he was never defeated.

Killer Whales cannot hear liberals.

Killer Whales are constantly in a state of rage.

Killer Whales prevented the Y2K disaster from happening.

Killer Whales are the official state bird of Connecticut.

Killer Whales cause all women to PMS because they are inherently cruel.

Killer Whales did your mother.

Killer Whales hate vegetarians.

Killer Whales hold the all time high scores in Pacman, NCAA Football 2K5, and Snood.

Killer Whales can dunk a basketball from 49 feet away. With their eyes closed.

Killer Whales pimp out Polar Bears for extra cash.

Killer Whales do not repeat themselves. Ever.

Chuck Norris is a Killer Whale in disguise.